Expressing Spirituality in Christian Marriage

   An integral part of our spiritual walk is the way we deal with marriage. Marriage is the fundamental institution of God in society. This has been true from the beginning. God said that it was not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). God corrected that which was potentially "not good" by creating the perfect counterpart for man">

Expressing Spirituality in Christian Marriage    An integral part of our spiritual walk is the way we deal with marriage. Marriage is the fundamental institution of God in society. This has been true from the beginning. God said that it was not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). God corrected that which was potentially "not good" by creating the perfect counterpart for man, his perfect opposite, his perfect compliment. The Lord did not create a harem for Adam, but one woman, Eve. They were to commit themselves to one another for life. From their story arises the principle of Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cling to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This fundamental principle is for every human being on the face of the earth. It is God’s plan for society.     In the Old Testament, God gave Israel some guidelines for marriage. He particularly encouraged the people of God to marry others who were among the people of God so that they would not be led away into idolatry. It is easier for two to serve the Lord together than for one to serve the Lord while the other pulls in the opposite direction. God protected the sanctity of marriage by condemning adulterous relationships (Lev. 18:20,vss. 24ff). God tolerated some divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts, but Jesus said it had never been God’s desire (Matthew 19:1-8). God wanted husbands and wives to keep faith with one another, being faithful to one another as to God (Malachi 2:10-16).     Jesus strengthened and narrowed the law of God on marriage. Jesus strongly asserted God’s role in joining two people together (Matthew 19:6). He spoke very pointedly against divorce and, only with the exception of a spouse’s unfaithfulness, against remarriage (Matthew 5:32; 19:6-12; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18). This all put Christian marriage at the heart of one’s Christianity. It is our duty to cultivate our marriage, to work at our marriage, and to make our marriage work for the glory of God.     A commitment to Jesus as Lord means that we will allow Jesus to direct our conduct in marriage. Study Ephesians 5:21-end. The relationship with Christ is paramount throughout. It determines how one treats one’s husband or one’s wife. What does Jesus want me to do? This is our primary question each day of married life. Study 1 Peter 3:1-7. In this passage too, Jesus is the deciding factor in our behavior. Jesus changes the way we talk and act in our marriage. He even changes the way we dress (1 Corinthians 11:14ff). The marriage relationship is a triangle. God is on one point, the husband on one point, and the wife is on one point. At every point there are two relationships. The husband relates to God and his wife. The wife relates to God and her husband. God is the cement that holds the two together. How does this change if one or the other partners in the marriage does not have a relationship with God?     Marriages need attention to survive. People need to talk to one another, share their thoughts, feelings, goals, concerns, regrets, and joys with one another. In order to do this, they must spend some time together. Turn off the TV. Take walks together. Participate in joint activities and projects. Work on your house together. Take a trip together. Eat meals together and talk. Be committed to your marriage no matter how you feel at present. The Bible deals very little with feelings relative to marriage. The bible commands husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25). This is the same love commanded toward one’s enemies. It means commitment to the best interests of another. It does not come and go with feelings. It is action of the will. We do it on purpose. Wives are commanded also to love their husbands and children. This word used in Titus 2:4 is the word for friendship love. It suggests that we should develop friendship relationships with our husbands, and be true friends to one another. The love between a husband and a wife is threefold. It is commitment (agape), it is friendship (philos), it is familial (storge), and it is erotic (eros). All of these are different but all of them are components of a successful marriage. God wants us to cultivate each of these kinds of love so that we can cultivate our marriage relationship. The kind of love that holds the entire relationship together is the agape love, the commitment. This kind takes in the spiritual welfare of our marriage partner as well as the other kinds of welfare, physical, emotional, social, etc.     Put your marriage at a high priority in your life. It is part of your service to God. Part of doing God’s will is being a good marriage partner. It is both a duty and a blessing.     Remember that the laws of God govern our marriages. Do not allow yourself to think that we can conduct our marriages outside the boundaries of his law and be pleasing to him.